Avelut/Mourning

The last few weeks on wednesdays I’ve been teaching from Lauren Winner’s book “Mudhouse Sabbath.” Tonight we are discussing Avelut – mourning.

In the book Winner fuses her spiritual disciplines from her childhood faith – Judaism- with her beliefs in christianity. It is a beautiful book that reaches to the far, almost forgotten, roots of Christendom, which are of course jewish disciplines.

This weeks lesson on mourning dives into the mourning calendar of the jewish faith. When a person loses a brother, sister, mother, or father there is a mourning cycle which consist of Anuit – burial; Shiva – seven; Shloshim – thirty; and yahrtzeit – one year.

This cycle is bound with people. Communal mourning. During Anuit the mourner is left alone, this is a time where they are at a point closest to the death, just before the burial. Once the body of the beloved is put to rest the time of shiva beings.

Shiva is a time when a candle is lit and the mourners gather around for seven days and do not speak a word. the first week.

The next part of the cycle is shloshim, this is the first month. after shiva a person slowly makes a transition into everyday life, never forgetting, always remembering. The way Winner describes shloshim, “(it) is the edging back to worldly concerns and quotidian rhythms after the intense cocoon of shiva” (p. 30). The first month. Each month following shloshim until the first anniversary the mourner prays the Kaddish. Winner explains that the Kaddish begins “Magnified and sanctified may God’s great name be” (p. 32). This prayer is to be said two times a day in the company of others.

On the anniversary of the lost – yahrtzeit – the mourner lights a candle. This is a time to remember, a time to understand the prayer of Kaddish (God is great, he is worthy to praise, and he is love), and a time to celebrate the love and memory of the one we mourn.

In 8 days I will light a candle with my wife as we remember my sister-in-law. I write this to encourage you to do the same (remember you’re loved ones). It’s rough, there is hurt, there is pain, the memory of a life taken way too soon. But there is also a cause for celebration, the memories I possess of my sister, Rachel, will always be happy fun memories.

I want to share one of those memories with you. The first time I ever visited my wife – Rebekah’s house, Rachel told me when we had a moment alone, that I was going to marry her sister. She never got to see that day, but she always knew it was going to happen. Rachel, thank you for always being the first to know. I love you.

My friends may we never forget our saints.

Grace and Peace be with you this new year.

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