Over the last few weeks I’ve had this steadily growing insomnia. For some crazy reason my brain tells my body that it isn’t done for the day. I then do about four things almost simultaneous: I read; watch TV (or a movie); I write; and I play video games on either my phone or ipad – you should see me when I try all four…crazy… yeah… crazy.

I have a few ideas of why I am this way… one: in college I stayed up hours on end… two: I don’t like falling asleep… three: I’m afraid to forget something important.

resting for me is easy…sleep is hard.

Rest is a period where I can briefly close my eye and brain and charge up for the rest of the day. Sleep is when I’m vulnerable…

I wish that I could describe it better for you… I wish you could know the burden of a person who burns the candle into the wee hours.

I want to rest… I want to sleep…

I think there is something here to talk about.

Sometimes I agree, we need those moments – especially during the day to day – of rest. We need our minds to shut down briefly so we can be a better person. Sometimes we need to take a breath before we speak. Sometimes we need to shut down anger and frustration so we can be more clear.

And yes, some times we need that utter vulnerableness. We need to feel like a new born baby, completely dependent on someone to care for us. We need to be open up to all possibilities of the dark night, and the hopes of a bright tomorrow.

I want to encourage you; if you are like me and have sleepless nights, to look out for the sun and the fortune it holds. All of the possibilities are open to those who are willing to grab for them.

When I was learning how to read I had a real hard time of it putting letters and sounds together; I have this genius mother, she bought me comic books and lots of them. I read more comic book volumes than my friends had read actual books. These pictures of dark shadows, superpowers, and the ability to imagine anything as possibility pushed my interest in learning. Because of this I began to have a very intriguing imagination.

In my back yard I could imagine shooting light beams out of my wrist cuffs that I would make from cardboard and I would fly by jumping supper high on my trampoline. My superhero alter ego’s name was unoriginal; but it was mine – the white knight (yes all the same characteristics of batman, the dark knight, with a nicer attitude and added powers) – boom, I was a hero.

Putting together thoughts together with the lectionary reading for that Sunday I remembered a book I had just purchased, “Practicing Resurrection” by Eugene Peter. I took an idea from this book and applied with the context of our scripture passage (1 Peter 1.3-9).

The idea that when we remember, and live in the fullness of forgiveness we take part in something bigger than us.

We take part in becoming a family of grace and peace.

We people who remember the stories of a carpenter king.

We remember the stories of a death that was not just, and of the sacrifice given.

We remember the challenges he sent to his people; Feed the Hungry, Clothe the naked, bring drink to the thirsty, protect the orphan and the widow.

The title became “The Importance of Story and Practicing Resurrection.”

This was the thought, the catalyst, behind my teaching.

I want to now, these months later, to challenge you dear reader to take a moment and remember.

Remember the stories of old. Remember their significance. Remember their weight. and Remember your story.

Grace and Peace be yours.

In the book Winner fuses her spiritual disciplines from her childhood faith – Judaism- with her beliefs in christianity. It is a beautiful book that reaches to the far, almost forgotten, roots of Christendom, which are of course jewish disciplines.

This weeks lesson on mourning dives into the mourning calendar of the jewish faith. When a person loses a brother, sister, mother, or father there is a mourning cycle which consist of Anuit – burial; Shiva – seven; Shloshim – thirty; and yahrtzeit – one year.

This cycle is bound with people. Communal mourning. During Anuit the mourner is left alone, this is a time where they are at a point closest to the death, just before the burial. Once the body of the beloved is put to rest the time of shiva beings.

Shiva is a time when a candle is lit and the mourners gather around for seven days and do not speak a word. the first week.

The next part of the cycle is shloshim, this is the first month. after shiva a person slowly makes a transition into everyday life, never forgetting, always remembering. The way Winner describes shloshim, “(it) is the edging back to worldly concerns and quotidian rhythms after the intense cocoon of shiva” (p. 30). The first month. Each month following shloshim until the first anniversary the mourner prays the Kaddish. Winner explains that the Kaddish begins “Magnified and sanctified may God’s great name be” (p. 32). This prayer is to be said two times a day in the company of others.

On the anniversary of the lost – yahrtzeit – the mourner lights a candle. This is a time to remember, a time to understand the prayer of Kaddish (God is great, he is worthy to praise, and he is love), and a time to celebrate the love and memory of the one we mourn.

In 8 days I will light a candle with my wife as we remember my sister-in-law. I write this to encourage you to do the same (remember you’re loved ones). It’s rough, there is hurt, there is pain, the memory of a life taken way too soon. But there is also a cause for celebration, the memories I possess of my sister, Rachel, will always be happy fun memories.

I want to share one of those memories with you. The first time I ever visited my wife – Rebekah’s house, Rachel told me when we had a moment alone, that I was going to marry her sister. She never got to see that day, but she always knew it was going to happen. Rachel, thank you for always being the first to know. I love you.

My friends may we never forget our saints.

Grace and Peace be with you this new year.

I enjoyed this book so much. Truly a pilgrimage. As you read the book you are swept on a journey through the States, Northern Uganda, Southeast Asia, and the world. The whole time learning about situations that go rather unnoticed; child soldiers, sex trade, fair trade, ect.

Not only is it a leaning experience there are ways to interact with the text: each chapter ends with ways to become involved or further educate yourself on the topics of the chapter. This is one of the more brilliant things I’ve loved about reading books from The House Studio. Their authors seek a response. Asking a basic question, “what can you do to shape the world for better today?”

I encourage you to read this. This pilgrimage is eye opening. may we see our unnoticed neighbors and may we sit down and hear their stories.

In this culture of egocenticity I find that I like me. However, I feel that I am not enough. this idea of self and selfless play over and over in my head. If you didn’t know I am newly married. I have a wife. Everyday the actions I take or don’t take will not only affect me they will affect her as well.

What I’m finding in this idea of being selfless is that I enjoy it. what? how can this be? is it a little weird? maybe. sometimes when we begin to see things differently we grow. when we grow there becomes this reaction.

What I’m finding is that we become more aware of these small changes. we sense that life is more than us. through reading blogs, books, newsreports, and the like I find myself wanting more and more to be involved and helping the other; I want this feeling of giving up me for others.

This might be a very weird post but at the same time these are thoughts in my head that I wanted to express to you.

I hope that where ever you are in what ever you are doing that you are feeling these small changes too.

I hope that you will do something, I hope that we will do something for others. I hope that we can become selfless so that our creating God can manifest in the lives around us.

Grace and Peace be with you dear friend.

During this season of lent, a season of reflection, I have began to look inward. However, there is also this awesome feeling of anticipation again, this time, this year, it’s not about death or suffering, this year my life is expecting resurrection.

During lent we do a few things; fast, acts of service, and prayer. We do these things in celebration of the temptations found in Matthew 4. They are our sacrifice for forty days to a God who deserves more than just forty. These sacrifices are to be echoed as a sign of a coming celebration, each Sunday we are invited to take place of small resurrection parties to celebrate the rising of our Christ, our saving Messiah.

I challenge you friend during this time of introspection take time to see the ways you can worship your Creator-God. I hope Christianity will become a force for good during this season may we shine the love of our creator and his son to all who may be in darkness.

Grace and Peace

I think I know what it is. I miss worshiping God. I miss worshiping him through serving people. my job might be the job of a youth director, I have the ability to minister into the lives of students. I have the opportunity to tell them of a great liberating King. But there is still something missing.

I believe over the next few months you’ll see or hear about this young man and his students ministering to the least of these. Seeking to be true lights; shining the God-colors to world.

How will this be done. How can we move from learning about the Kingdom of God to being the Kingdom of God. Easy, all we have to do is get up. all we have to do is follow that scary pit-in-the-stomach feeling and do something.

I don’t want to feel empty and I don’t want to make empty promises. I want to live a life that is full and not full of stuff, but full of life. Full of showing God to the world.

How can I expect to do that if I can’t show these students the love that envelopes me. The love of a king that sought to bring the world to rights.

May we become a people who seeks to help our christ put the world to rights. May we become a people who shows love to all, no matter what. May I embrace my creator. And may my students learn of this King.

Grace and Peace

Maybe you have a child or friend who is like me. they have all of these people around them but yet the only time we hear anything worth our attention of them it’s on a screen? I hate being alone I hate not having someone to talk to, if you really know me I hate not having someone to listen to.

Again this isn’t a plea for a new friend or friends to call me or email me. This is for you to think about those closest to you. think about that nerd who has no friends and cries him/herself to sleep at night longing for acceptance. Think about that Jock who hates being mean who hates being stereotypical. Most of the times people are looking for others who they can share a conversation without being judged.

That’s the one thing I miss about coffee shops. In a coffee shop the topic of conversation can go from philosophy to physics to politics to religion to optimism and to so much more. All in all I believe it’s those conversations that lead us to a closer relation with friends.

But how do we help those like myself get away from the computer screen? How can we help people create meaningful relationships? I believe it has to be our humility. the best relationships I’ve ever created where because I got off my butt and did something. We have to be willing to experience life.

Though I don’t want your sympathy I would love your prayers. I am in a new place with no friends other than my colleagues and church members and in two month my wife will be here (cause she’ll be my wife!). Just pray that over the next couple of months I don’t feel quite as lonely. Also pray for those whom you may or may not know who have this feeling.

Grace and Peace my faithful friends and readers

I sometimes feel like the candle above. Every time you
become lit you shine the darkness away, and its gone. but there is
this twinge in the back of your head you know either the wax will
melt or someone will come by and blow the light out. I feel as
though I am not the most effective communicator of this light as I
can be.

The light of God that shines within us is like a candle
someone can come by and blow out. One could come by hide this light
under a bushel. We have to continuously say, “No! I’m not going to
let you blow it our,” or “Hide it under a bushel? No! I’m not going
to let you do that.”

Funny how a little song, “This Little Light of
Mine,” can make an impact on the way we can look at our faith. In
this third month of this new union, I have to say I am trying my
hardest to shine my light. And if it’s not good enough I will try
harder to show the gospel message with my life. Love God, Love
Others, Serve Jesus.

May you, dear friend, seek to shine your light
bright for all to see. May God be with you on your adventures.

Grace and Peace.